The Day

So this is what it feels like, huh? I don't know if I didn't expect it so much as I didn't think he'd have the balls to actually do something on his own. Well, he didn't really do it, I had to say something about it and then he could feel free to say he'd already made up his mind (as he wiggles his ring finger and says, "I've already made my decision") . Oh, the backbone you have Q, how do you bend over to pick things up with such a stiff and strong backbone? Must hurt like hell.

Why is it when we get married we look past the GLARING red flags that are literally smacking us on the back of a leg with a hairbrush, begging us to take notice? I suppose it's because when you're in that place of marshmallow clouds and gumdrop landscapes you foolishly believe that your love can conquer all. Come to find out, your love can't conquer shit, like your rage problems, for example.

I looked beyond the massive need you had to smoke pot several times a day-that should have been an obvious one, but who doesn't like a little fun now and then? I looked waaaaayyyy beyond the fact that you hadn't been employed in, how long was it again? Years? Oh, wait, you worked for your brother for six months and he paid you squat, that's right, I almost forgot. Wait, another one I looked past, your extraordinary computer porn collection. I'm no prude, but Jesus Christ, what person who isn't some kind has that much porn???? Should'a seen it coming. Should'a could'a would'a. But I'm sure as hell not going to put up with you amazing lack of respect for me any longer. The prick stops here.

So I'm a 33 year old with a good job, her own house (and no, you won't get a single piece of it or anything in it because I owned it long before you came around, and you worked so little I can't imagine you even paid enough over 2.5 years to equate to one month's mortgage) and now I am going to be divorced. How do you reconcile this? How does it feel to introduce yourself as the great catch who married an asshole and is now divorce (read: damaged goods)?

What I find to be the most ironic is that he complains about how I act like his mother, always reminding him to do things or asking him if something should be done, pretty much making sure what needs to be done gets done, and yet if I waited for him to lift a finger to start this process I'd end up being married another few years! For once my drive to get things done is going to benefit him, although I'm sure he'll use it against me somehow before this 90-day nightmare is over.

Why do fools fall in love? No, seriously, why do they?