Does it get any easier?

I know it does, I'm not completely obtuse, just sort of at this point in time. He came over tonight to sign some papers and it just kills me to sit there and try to talk to him without looking at him. If I look at him I'll loose it. At this point it hurts so much because I don't want this, I'm doing it, and spearheading it as a matter of fact, because I just want it over. If I'd had the chance to separate and try to work out the problems away from each other I have to say I probably would have taken that option, however; that isn't an option.

Do I believe in divorce? I'm not sure. I believe in it when someone is physically in danger. I believe in it when someone is cheating on the other. I believe in it if there are serious addiction issues that get in the way. Do I believe in it in my case? It's safe to say that this wouldn't have been my first choice. I believe in trying to work things out that can be worked out. I believe that when I said that I'd stick with him through good times and bad that I meant it. I meant it when I said I'd be there when he needed me. I meant it when I said I knew love wasn't easy, it was hard work, and I was willing to put in the time for it. I meant it when I said I loved him. I meant it.